If you’re browsing through thousands of beautiful single ladies on a Russian dating site, the thought “Am I looking for a girl for casual dating or serious dating?” has probably crossed your mind once or twice.
The casual dating vs. serious dating topic can grow into a heated debate no matter how many people are discussing it in the same room. While you can always find both advocates and opponents of these two dating options in Russian dating, for some people, it can be difficult to decide which side they are on.
In fact, many people at the stage of “single dating” have no idea what they’re looking for, and just roll with it. It is not uncommon for both men and women to be die-hard casual daters and then suddenly spiral into a serious relationship when they meet the right person.
Are dating sites responsible for the rising popularity of casual dating?
Casual dating and serious dating have their pros and cons. Serious dating isn’t for everyone, just like casual dating isn’t for everyone. You need to be honest not just with the person you’re dating about your relationship goals and intentions, but also with yourself.
Just several decades ago, casual dating was sort of a taboo thing, and people were embarrassed to admit that they date casually. Fast forward to 2019, there’s no longer any shame or stigma attached to dating casually as long as you’re open and honest about it with the person you’re “dating.”
The rising popularity of the casual dating phenomenon has little to nothing to do with the growing popularity of Russian online dating sites and apps, despite the fact that many believe that the former is a direct consequence of the latter. In fact, according to Bustle, studies have shown that dating apps don’t result in more casual relationships.
Why communication matters so much
Oftentimes, people who date casually but whose partners aren’t aware that they are in a non-serious relationship are afraid to be open and honest about the status of their relationship. For example, if a man is dating a Belarus girl for marriage, he might have a hard time admitting that he’s a casual dater out of fear of losing her as his partner.
Yes, honest communication matters a lot regardless of whether you’re in the “casual dating” or “serious dating” camp, because your partner needs to be on the same page with you. If you are out there to meet women for a casual while she wants some “happy couples” thing, you have a problem. In fact, the sooner you have an adult conversation, the better, which is why bringing up this topic in the Russian online chat when you’re getting to know each other is usually the best opportunity to talk about it so that your partner knows where this thing is going.
How to determine whether you’re a casual or serious dater?
You don’t necessarily have to read tons of books about love and relationships or talk to a shrink for 100+ hours to find out whether you’re a casual dater or serious dater. It’s much simpler than that. Most of the time, it all boils down to only two simple questions:
- At this point of your life, are you ready to be with just one person?
- At this point of your life, are you ready to sacrifice many things in your life for another person?
The same two questions apply to men regardless of whether they’re looking for the hottest Russian women or gorgeous Chinese ladies on international dating sites. These two questions are universal and know no borders.
Usually, when you start seeing someone, the lines are blurred about whether this is a casual or serious thing. But as long as the two people in this “relationship” are honest about what their expectations from it, the lines eventually become more distinct and clear.
The pros and cons of casual dating vs. serious dating
The pros of casual dating:
- You get to meet a lot of Russian girls online, and your “casual” partner won’t throw a tantrum every time he or she sees you texting another girl;
- You can put your interests first, because you aren’t expected to sacrifice anything you enjoy in your life;
- You don’t have to deal with the stress- and anxiety-inducing stuff that comes along with a serious relationship (i.e. plans for future, getting married, splitting property and assets, living together, etc.); and
- Casually dating a lot of people allows you to eventually find the right partner and settle.
The cons of casual dating:
- There’s no expectation of faithfulness from your “casual” partner;
- Your parents might not be thrilled about your choice of lifestyle, because they want you to meet a Russian bride and have kids, but can you blame them? Casual dating wasn’t a thing back when they were dating;
- You are not being challenged the same way you can be challenged mentally, physically and spiritually in a romantic relationship; and
- You never know where this whole thing is going.
The pros of serious dating:
- You can enjoy the comfort and security of being in a committed relationship;
- You and your partner work toward one mutual goal: building a family;
- There’s always someone that cares about you and you can talk to;
- You get to explore yourself and learn new things about your personality; and
- You get a life partner and best friend who’s always down to do things and try new things with you.
The cons of serious dating:
- Going out is no longer as fun as it used to be when you were single;
- You feel wrong having sexual thoughts about people other than your partner;
- You have to deal with jealousy; and
- Maintaining a serious romantic relationship requires a tremendous amount of effort.
As you can see, it cannot be said that a certain dating option is better than the other. It depends on your personality, your preferences, your goals, your strengths and weaknesses. Figure out which one is the best option for you and remember the number one rule: always be honest about your intentions with your partner.